1, 2, and 3 FRIENDS

I. What is the criteria of becoming a good friend?

II. Triangle Partner comments:

Richard,,,
i love the poem you decided to include in this post. you question is good, although is seems very vague. i began to get a better understanding of it after i read the information you posted at the bottom along with the poem. you should consider maybe just rewording the question, to make it more clear your talking about the bond between two friends. make it more clear about the excepted feelings to come out of a friendship.
something like that. i hope this was helpful. i look forward to seeing what you come up with=
ARDEN

EVAN, good question. i like the idea of Matthews comment. i like that this question deals with two types of time periods, of the teenage and adulthood. if you want to go deeper and more specific you might want to consider narrowing it down to positive or negative effects. how much of an impact do parents have? this sounds good and i will be interested to see what you come up with :) ARDEN

III. Based on the awesome feedback i got (thank you!!!) i revised my question to some thing more along the lines of: What are commonalities of a good friend in the different types of friendship relationships? What are the primary qualities between good friends?

"Zodiac Compatibility: the 12 signs." Horoscope. N.p., 2010. Web. 12 May 2010. http://www.astrology.com.au/12signs/index.asp

Certain horoscope types are said to be more compatible with others. Each Zodiac sign is a person that inquires certain traits. Based on a a persons zodiac sign it is easy to figure out their characteristics and how well two people are get along together. the whole idea of atromomy is thr configuratiosn of the stars in the sky. based on the configurations of the stars or the astrological influence make people become friends? it all has to do with energy. it does seem to be true that people are drawn to others with a positive energy. Which makes me wonder what traits help develop the relationship and this traits resist it?

Stevenson, Jessica. "How To Find True Friends."About: teen advice n. pag. Web. 12 May 2010. http://teenadvice.about.com/od/friends/tp/qualities_of_good_friends.htm

Friendships are not easy to find, they require great amounts of time and effort. more or less we all have a similar definition of what a good friend is and what we expect of them. Jessica Stevenson writes about just that, all the rules and qualities a good friend should have. Majority of people all over the world would probably agree with the list of statements she makes in this article. all the qualities of being honest, loyal and accepting you for who you are. although it is all mostly cliché and receptive, i believe that some of it is true and that people are looking for the ideal friend. the friend who follows these guidelines, although they may not exist.

"How to Make Friends And Get a Social Life." Succeed Socially 2010: n. pag. Web. 13 May 2010. .

Friends are a crucial part of our lives. we all need to have friends. Surprisingly, making friends is not a easy thing to do. it is an automatic fail if you just approach someone and ask to be there friend. and trust me it has happened. "It may take a while before you get a chance to meet some people you're compatible with." in this article it explains how to ease into a friendship with someone. it covers some parts of how to tell a good friend from a bad one. but what does that mean?

"Friendship - Influence Of Friends On One Another ."Encyclopedias. N.p., 2010. Web. 13 May 2010.

we may spend more time with our friends than we do with our families. In most cases they are the ones who know us the best. although "friends" are always said to have our backs they are not necessarily the best influence on us. this article describes the effects friends can have on other friends. once a person spends enough time around someone else they start to conform to each-other. there is not way to prevent it. it always expresses points where a person views of their friends change. growing up changes our defination and outlook on friendship, "As children grow older, their conception of friendship may change."

Myers-Briggs survey

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others.

Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.

i am a little bummed because i did not save my percentages. i have my assigned type, but i much more curious about the percentages my answer equalled out to be. i do remember getting the percent that i am in the group of 8.1%. and i thought to myself maybe i was unique because i was in the group where majority of the people were not. although that was not the case, turns out I am not so special because os many other people where right along side with me. and people who i would never expect to really share those similar qualities as me. turns out we have more in common than i thought? when taking this survey i was thinking about what i personally thought and then thought about what other thought too. so i will admit that i did ask a couple people what they thought, which helped me make up my mind when answering the questions. so the test was right that i need affirmation from other people, and that is one of the things that helps me make choices. honestly, i agree with most of the results i got. and i do think we all are a little bite of everything, but thats almost why i am so curious about seeing my percentages. i do feel like most days i am confident, and outgoing. people often tell me i like to dream more than focus mainly on the reality of a situation. i like it better like that though. I am influenced by my emotions, often to much at times. Since we all have a little bit of every quality i would say it is not impossible for people to simply be friends. yes, people's personalities clash. they clash all the time but that inevitable. and isn't it said that "opposites attract?" maybe I am not making sense so let me use a personal example...where my friend and I came out with results that are completely opposite from each-other. expect we are friends. we have been friends for a while. out of most of my friends we are the ones who seem to clash the least. we hardly and very very rarely run into problems. we may not always agree, but we just know how to accept that. being opposites comes with some advantages. because we always chose to do things differently. Together we learn the other persons point of view, different methods or ways of approaching a situation. it is helpful and it works.

Thoughts on Survey

I felt good going into the survey, after each questioned I answer I caught myself constantly reconsidering the answer I had chosen. The survey was interesting. But I did not necessary feel as good at the end of it. (So I spent a while just talking to my mom) For some of the questions, more so the questions about friends, social and political I stopped and gave it a deeper thought, until it became hard for me to make a final decision. It came me the chance to really think about the relationship I have with other people. I kept thinking about every little thing to use to answer the question. I felt like the survey questioned those relationships and it certainly got me thinking. I thought about my friends, and the basic things that happen daily. It forced me to compare the relation I have with my family and my friends. I realize how much more time is spent being social with my friends than my family. After answering the questions I honestly got a better sense of my situation, I understood everything a little better. I think sometimes it takes questioning things in order to really work them out. I felt I answered with more positive "yes" answers than negative "no" answers. Since it was completely anyomous I felt comfortable answering the questions as honestly as I could. Even though I did not want to think about some of the questions, and I might not have wanted to admit sometimes to myself. Some questions I gave less though than other, and other questions I was stuck on.

I felt like there were a bunch of random questions tied into the survey. The results based off the statement: “I have a friend that I will ”know” for a lifetime came as a shock to me. The results came out to be a total of about 80% of people who said they do. I remember my friends in 5th grade would always talk about being friends forever, so go about planning our lives together. Because we honestly believed that it was going to happen. Yet only a couple years later we both changed enough not to be as close. This statement relates to that of: “you have a friend you tell virtually everything too” The result of this survey question was about 80% as well. I guess it just shows how dependant we are on other people, especially our friends. People want to be independent and break away from family, and fit in with other people. I think people in my age group who took this survey as well do dependant on our friends more than our family. People want to fit in with others and so they answer the question accordingly. Maybe what they chose is an answer that is not true for them but would be true for the person they “want” or are “expected” to be. And so I think part of the survey questions were answered subconsciously. There are some times that people have a tough time admitting. Even if the entire survey is anonymous they have trouble admitting it to themselves. I tried to be honestly, but I know that I probably was not completely honest. But I want to believe that maybe something is not true. That was shown in some of the results. I felt as though The drugs and alcohol questions were a little bit weird and the answers I found even weirder. A pattern I noticed that the two or so question involving drinking and drugs have very similar results. There was such an uneven amount of people who said they drank/ did drugs or they didn’t. However based off the results that did not seem to be the case. By the way people are always talking about drinking and drugs I would expect the results to be a high percentage of people who do admit to doing drinking or do drugs.

Comparing The results of our small school survey to the results of the 2007 National Youth Risk Behavior survey was interesting. There were topics brought up in both surveys where the results did not seem to really match up. People from our school cannot generalize results for the entire population of teens. To generalize for a wide range of people there needs to be a variety of people surveyed in order to make the results accurate. Another possible factor of accuracy is how the questions are phrases because people can interpret questions differently. Looking at the youth risk behavior survey, people said 40.4% had never been drunk. Another question results were 75% of the surveyed people have consumed an alcoholic drink. Which possibly describes the results in our student survey.

Another survey conducted by smartgirl (http://www.smartgirl.org/speakout/archives/friendship/friendship.html) in November and December of 2001 showed similar results to our school surveys. Although theirs was filled out by about 400 people, it directly compares to the results shown in our school survey. The only different is that this survey was conducted with majority of the people being girls. That 70% percent of people who say they will be friends for life only stay friends for less than 10 years. Granted that we have all been alive for no more than two decades, it is still a significance point to make. It makes me wonder how the results would differ I there were more boys.

People of the world

I love my friends, I love my family. I love the sound of rain and ice cream. I love the color yellow and street fairs. I love summer vacation and flying on airplanes. But there is a difference between loving someone and loving something. And there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. A person can love something like their phone, because of what it does for them, but the phone will not love the person back. I love the sound of rain, or ice cream or summer because it makes me feel good.

A person can love a person as a friend, to be there for support. To remind us that we have some meaning being here and that we are not totally losers. Loving someone is not always easy. There is allot of risk involved. That’s why its so scary, and that’s why most of us hesitate. We do not want to put ourselves out to be hurt, or regretted. All we simply want to be complimented and loved. Once love has found us or vice a versa all we even wanna do to hold on to it. One of the greatest fears is losing love. So why do people get married? Well because they do not want to be alone. They would like to believe that getting married means they never have to be alone again. The Catholic Church a marriage is said to last only until death. In the mormon church a marriage lasts forever, or so they say. I mean hey it would be nice not to be alone forever, but I think that’s the way it is. Its every man, o no scratch that every person for them self.

O Love. Where does that word even come from? Its just all so complicated. Any type, all shapes and forms of Love are weird. Its trusting and loving someone and trusting that they love you back. It’s both terrifying and comforting. But because its all those things does that mean you shouldn’t ever try? Never Take the chance and go for it? Its like that saying “ it’s the things in life you don’t do that you regret” well I think we should, I think we have to try. Without any commitment you cant learn to care for another person other than yourself.

The thing is People need other people. We are drawn to each other. I would say maybe it is a part of it is our natural instinct. Because two people together rather than just one have an increased ability to survive. They are simply capable of more together. Imagine yourself on a desert island... fighting for food, building a shelter all things that would be easier with someone else. Not to mention the killer of isolation. We simply need other people. We need other people for a million and one reasons. But it would just be too hard to do it all by ourselves. We all depend on each other even in the simplest things. Today for instance I depend on the conductor of the train to be there so I could get to school. Once I got to school I depend on the teachers to show up. And the list comes on and on. I depend on people every day of my life, and some more than others. When they let you down, well it’s a bummer. And so it might make sense that the people you depend on the most let you down the most. But it is also the easiest to take any anger out on the person you love and depend on the most. Because you know that they will love you no matter what. An example: Well My sister and I have never had a fight that lasted more than a day. We fight about little things all the time; it is hard for us to ever agree on anything. Although we are found constantly fighting we always make up after wards. The reason being that after a while our angry fades and we simply forget why we were fighting in the first place. And it usually turns out to be nothing. We have been through so much together, been with each other for so long. Now I am used to her being around and it just wouldn't be the same without her. So as we have matured and come to terms with us it is always hard to stay mad each other. It seems as though after every fight we come to appreciate each other a little more. Its just how it is what can I say I love her.

Listen I’m no expert that’s for sure. These are just some ideas I have as in one big mess. My ideas to explain some of the crazy things in this world. And thinking about it again, I realize all the crazy things people do., and The crazy things that happen. And it makes me think why people do some of the crazy stuff they do? Most of the time people cant find a good reason to do something. They do not have a good idea to explain their actions. Who ones maybe we do something with no reason at all, but the is always the intention we have after. The intention of something else happening afterwards. This is where I believe that people all have multiple sides to them. When we face a decision that has to be made, and two ideas go through our head. Two conflicting ideas; 1. Part of you might want to be mean, to go one way just to make the other person feel bad, as a way of revenge. 2. The other side being "the right thing to do" and you should be nice and help out. Generally these go for most situations so there is no need for an example. But the points being that these two ideas are considered in our minds. It’s the angel sitting on one shoulder battling the devil on the other. No matter what the person chooses to do one side always goes unsatisfied. And then we ask ourselves the big question of, what if? What if I had done that? What if I had done this?

And, although, cliché' I believe I am a believer in "Cant live with em' cant live without em'"! (People I mean)

The class

Well, for starters I liked the movie. It was different from all the other teacher student movies we have seen. I felt as though it was more realistic and less dramatized compared to other movies. Yet everyone played a defined role, Roles similar to the ones in all the others movies including ours. Everyone in this movie played his or her role throughout the movie, it was excellent.

I would like to point out that This movie demonstrates a semi-functional educational system. There are some major flaws. They have such a tight and organized way of doing things and it does not work in a functional way. The teaching always follows a certain curriculum. Each student is judged based on the same rubric. While each student has different strengths, weaknesses and faces different problems themselves. In the class when the one girl admits to Mr. Martin that she did not learn anything like the other students did. The educational system has flaws like any educational system probably would. And having one amazingly smart teacher, or a different curriculum does not fix the entire system. This is when I think Lisa Delpit’s studies are the best way to go. That’s teachers should make more of an effort to get to know students and take into account for their strengths and weakness. So when it was Souleymane’s hearing, no one thought to take into account his situation at home, or address the good qualities that come from him. I do not think it was fair to expel him.

The movie starts, and starts to focus on a student who does not take school seriously. He ends up getting in trouble time and time again. By talking back, not bringing his things to class, or distracting the class. It seems like all his priorities are at home, and so he lies to his mom about doing well. After a while the administrators put in up for a hearing regarding his explosion. Then It becomes a matter of taking his personal life into consideration or not. Based on the very strict rules of the educational system, they decided to expel Souleymane from the school. I do not agree with the final decision that was made to expel him.

Everyone should be responsible for his or her own actions. Souleymane is guilty for being disrespectful and yelling at the teacher. Although he was provoked by the situation that Esmeralda caused. That to caused the teacher to get angry and use the word “skank” to describe the two students. That was crossing a line of respect too. Everything could have been avoided. Everyone played a part in it and therefore everyone is equally responsible.

Weather they realize or not Teachers can have major effects on a student’s life inside and outside of school. When a student came to talk to Mr. Martin and tell him the effect that Souleymane’s explosion would have, only then did Mr. Martin realized the role he was playing in Souleymane’s life. Mr. Marin’s true colors shine through at the end of the movie. He was aware of everything that was going on, and towards the end of the movie he is reveled as an imperfect, confused and dishonest individual. He did not want any one to see him as flawed. He talked to the other teachers and he felt it was not fair to expel Souleymane. He chose to do nothing, and all the other administrations did not do anything, or any other interest in his life either. I think a systematic change is needed. A change that’s would give students the guidance they need personally. Although Mr. Martin did try to find out about the students lives, he failed to make a difference. He asked the students to write their self-portraits so he could learn more about them. During a discussion of Anne frank the class talks about their feelings and experiences similar to hers. Even though he ends up better information about his students live he chooses to do nothing beneficial, helpful or significant with it. When it came down to Souleymane’s hearing Mr. Martin made the chose to leave any personal outside of school related information out.

There is always room for improvement because no one is perfect, and no system is completely fair to everyone. So we should aim for only the best we can do.

Experience> Books, media,

Learning is defined by Webster’s dictionary as the skill "to acquire or obtain knowledge". All of us learn something new everyday. But it isn’t necessarily something we will know forever. Chances are we are going to forget and in fact not remember years from now what it was that you learned. The way we really learn something, something that we truly remember, is through our experiences. Whether it was a little life lesson, or learning from a mistake, the fact is that we learn better from experience. A very well known ancient Chinese philosopher, Confucius, says "tell me and I will forget, show me, and I may remember, involve me and I will understand.” (age-of-the-sage) One can only learn so much from books and the media can be misinterpreted. Even hard facts can be turned into stories and much can be lost in translation. So who knows if we are ever getting the whole truth?

Being able to experience something first hand is the more memorable and effective learning experience. When a person is able to see the sights, hear the sounds, meet the people, eat the food, be truly involved, there is simply no comparison. Then people really know for themselves and have their very experience to relate to and take ownership of.

It does not matter how many books you have read, how many videos you have watched, how many classes you have taken, or how much knowledge you have in your head. If you have never been on a bike then you do not know how to ride one. This theory applies to any learning.

For instance, the book Simply Alice written by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor, it’s far from simple. The novel is the story of a girl and the challenges she faces through her road through adolescence. Throughout the book Alice's priorities cause trouble for her, and she ends up sabotaging the relationship she has between her friends and her boyfriend. One of Alice’s friend regrets not staying with her loving boyfriend, and is beginning to notice a similar thing happening in Alice’s life. As a close friend she warns Alice. Although Alice listens, she ignores what her friend confides and sure enough Alice loses her boyfriend. Here, Alice in fact has learned the mistakes she made. If this experience had not happened to her directly, she could not fully and understood the detrimental potential of her actions. So “learn from your mistakes” as the famous, saying goes.

Experiential learning is a very effective way of learning. It engages people at a deeper level as something they can relate personally. I have learned more about Egypt by going there rather than from any class I have taken, or any book or newspaper I have read. Actually going to Africa, even after reading many books and newspapers, enabled me to come back with a completely new set of facts. Take the guards for instance, who are found everywhere. I did not know weather to be afraid or feel safe. They stood their in full uniform swinging a heavy duty gun on their side. Experience allows a person to learn first hand. They are forced to blend in with the culture and their surroundings. This method allows one to develop new skills, ideas and even an entirely new way of thinking. Seeing a picture captures a moment of the event, but seeing the event up close and being a part of it (even just by observing) is so much more real and captures the real experience. For me, it is like watching a child take their first steps; it’s a moment when you feel like this has an effect on your life. Something you could have never felt or been truly aware of without the actual experience and seeing it for your self.

Little events can teach us the smallest of skills. Simple sidewalk games for example, such as hopscotch, which teaches social skills, and bring a part of a team, its about communication, and learning how to a just your mistake to make them more effective. It is a game that is popular as a way of experiential learning because it is fun. Learning through fun helps the people stay interested for a longer period of time. Or take bungee jumping, the thrill and feeling no one would understand unless they have done it for themselves.

The opposite of experience learning is Freire’s educational method of the “Bank depositing” system of teaching. This is where the teacher is the one with ALL the knowledge who then feds the mindless students information. Information is basically forced fed and they lose the ability to think for themselves. The one and only perspective they ever get is the one from the teacher. This system does not allow students to develop their own ideas or thoughts about anything. With this system I do not see any way there can be any progression. If students all know the same things and have the same ideas, there is no room to expand. Which is method similar to that of the medieval times, called 'Teaching by pouring in'. When they would drill holes in the human head and using a funnel would pour information into the person’s brain. Either way it is not effective.

Living an experience is the most effective, deepest and touches the touches the deepest level of learning. Nothing compares to living with the experience of learning something new, To really know and see something for yourself.

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"The sayings of Confucius Chinese philosopher and sage." age-of-the-sage (2002): n. pag. Web. 26 Apr 2010. .

Other People

Gatto The six-lesson schoolteacher: Gatto writes about six factors of the schooling system. He tells it how it is, in a very brutally honest way. It seems as though he mocks the entire process throughout the document. And I find it hard to believe he actually enforces these as a teacher. Through these 6 steps he explains effective methods to teach student so they can get the "best education." Gatto makes the point that the way the schooling system is set up takes about from students as individuals. Students are taught from textbooks, they are taught facts and knowledge and are taught the exact opposite of how to think for themselves. He talks about how we are almost being watched. There is no privacy in a student’s life. That we are like animals acquired with strict limitations and under constant surveillance. This education system has a strict curriculum that never allows a student to express their full potential of creativity; they are deprived of having any time to themselves to learn on their own. Instead of being a place of self discovery school acts as a sorting machine where "Numbering children is a very big and profitable business.” that the teacher knows how to direct the attention in their room. Teachers conduct the classroom in a way where they control the attention in the room. Students are taught when to "turn on and off like a light switch.” Meaning students know what to do next, they are aware of what they should be doing and where to direct their attention. He ends his piece with a harsh and sad statement that describes, "School is like starting a life with a 12-year jail sentence in which bad habits are the only curriculum truly learned."

Having never thought about it before I realize now how mindless most of what we do everyday is. We are always stuck at school, or at home doing schoolwork. The other time we have is wasted on mindless electronic devices. We deal with all of it like mindless zombies with the same standard responses and the same ideas and information as everyone else. I do not feel like we get enough time where we are able to learn things for ourselves. It would be nice not to just learn what we had to but more of what we wanted too. SOF does offer some difference classes to take, but for the most part they are very similar. I think schools, ours included, should have classes or take trips that allow students to developed ideas themselves. I have heard of schools that have wood shop for students who are curious about building and forensic science for kids who like that difference type of science. But here and in most places these courses are not offer and therefore we will never know.

Freire is the man who came up with the idea of this “bank depositing” system of teaching. It works with a teacher depositing what he knows into the minds of students. Making the teacher the one with ALL the knowledge and the students the ones who know nothing. After the information is basically forced fed to them they are suppose to have learned something. The students really cant thin for themselves. The only perspective they ever get is the one from the teacher. This system does not allow students to develop their own ideas or thoughts about anything. With this system I do not see any way there can be any progression. If students all know the same things and have the same ideas, there is no room to expand. He brings up the other idea of the "problem-posing" educational system. Which involves the teacher creating dialogue with the students, and they both share their ideas. which allows both the student and the teacher to learn something new from each-other. This technique of teaching has the student come to perceptive of the reality of their situation.

The bank depositing method is not the way to go. Students do not get to come up with their own idea. it reminds me of the medieval method of 'Teaching by pouring in'. When they would drill holes in the human head and using a funnel would pour information into the persons brain. Either way it is not effective. the posing problem perceptive seems similar to the education that is taught at our school. We simply sit around and chit chat for the whole class, where the teacher and students exchange dialogue and in the end walk away learning from each-other. It does seems to work fairly well in our classrooms, Because all different ideas are laid out on the table to pick and chose from. From this system i might admit that i have learned alot.

Lisa Delpit has surrounded her studies on the education of children. This interview shows her opinion on how schools should go about teaching. She believes that schools often misjudge a student’s brilliance. Delpit makes a point that a student’s knowledge can not only be judged in their test taking. She discussing the lack of effort teachers make in order to discover their students strengths, “I don't think we do a good enough job of showing teachers how to uncover the children's strengths.” The best way to discovery a student’s skill is through art. She recommends teachers to encourage their students to do art, which allows them to see their students in a new light. Another technique is to have an idea of what the children is like outside of school. by talking to people who are with the students. That way the teacher gets more of sense of who the student is and where they come from.

I think her methods make the most sense. Each person has something different to offer. Spending time getting to know a little bit about student can be beneficial. It helps the teacher teach the student in more of way they can learn and relate too. It helps the student by being able to learn more and feeling more comfortable with the teacher. I believe that people are the way they are for reasons. If people in generally (and teachers) were aware of a persons situation that might explain some of the things they do. For explain if someone acts out in class on a regular basic, instead of assuming they are just a bad student it helps to know what might be causing it. Maybe the student is ignored at home and wants attention and acts out as a way to get it even if it is negative. I feel like this is a good method to use in schools.

Mr. Manley a current English teacher at school of the future and just about the nicest guy ever came to talk to us about school. From being a student to than being a teacher everything is a lot different. Coming from a very traditional educational system SOF he says is a lot different. From his experience students sat a desk everyday, with very little minorities. He said overall he enjoyed his school experience. He went all the way to college before ever thinking about becoming a teacher. Currently loves his job at SOF. He describes this teaching job as a very rewarding because here he is able to connect with students, teach more freely. Manley says interacting with students that he is constantly reminded of himself.

From our conversation with Manley I realize how different our school is from others. I realize the difference in our environment, the people, the curriculum, and our relationships with teachers; it’s all very cool. I do not think I would like being at a traditional school (Although that might be because I have been here for so long already.)

He remembers a school he taught at where he was told to only teach grammar. He was informed how he should never talk about his personal life. Standing, teaching grammar and only grammar day after day was not a good experience for him. However it was a learning experience and that’s how he ended up at SOF. I can honestly say I am glad our school does not teach like that. I like being able to interpret things for myself, and talk freely in talking about it.