commenting

Sam,

Because my triangle partners both failed to post a draft, i am commenting on yours. I am sorry if this seems a little bit messy, you had alot of ideas and i found alot to write down. I hope what i have to say here you find helpful in some ways.

Right off the bat, i think by switching the first two sentence you would have a better hook. the idea that everyone is looking for their own face and all conform to each-other. i think most people would agree. People define cool themselves and follow it based on a collaboration of everyone ideas.

In the end it is each and every one of us trying to create image of cool for ourselves. We tend to gravitate to the people we are most alike. You talk about how people conform to this image of cool. A good resource to use would support the idea you have is the FRONT-LINE: Cool hunting. how these Cool hunting researchers try to find cool, they say "Once cool is discovered, it soon moves on" so they have to find a way to keep up. Once they find it they sell back an image of themselves. The media provides teens with a image of cool that they look up too. it might be something you want to include in your writing.

i like when you mention, "All that being said that doesn’t necessarily a bad thing." so you might want to revisit that somewhere in your paper. using more examples from what we did in class would be good. and maybe adding in where you think you fit in with all of this. hope this helps.

Devin,

My triangle partners are still working on there drafts. I post a comment on your paper, I like reading your writing. and i hope this comment is some what helpful.

For Starters Quoting from Shakespeare was very cool. I really liked the way you incorporated that into your draft. you might have inspired me to use it in my mind as well. Including Shakespeare kinda leads to the history of cool. and shows how cool is never constant and will never stop changing. By making the connection between that and the present, was interesting.

In your draft you use alot of good resources that all add to your arguments. I really enjoyed reading your draft. To make it even better you might want to consider what we can do in response to the dangers of cool. you could always add in more detail about the people today including where you fit in.