Being a parent has been described to me in so many different ways. I hear it is the greatest but the hardest job in the world. Good and bad things all go with being a parent, just like anything else.
Every parent wants a "happy" child. Maybe thats just simply giving in to the screams and cries for dessert or toy lets say, Which I have seen first hand so many times. Although my grandma would never just give in, a primary Guiding principle of discipline for her is to "be firm kindness with complete consistency about the limits and expectations. I do not believe that parents have to be your best friend." This was a guiding technique that my father carried out when raising me. I could never cry in order to get my way. If I cried I was told to go into the other room. This method I have to say worked to some extend. I never wanted to sit in a room alone, so I didn’t cry.
I mean children take up time, effort, and money. They are a HUGE part of any parent’s life. They have a great deal of power in the relationship. But what is it actually like being a parent? Well I don’t know. My grandma, the mother of four says, "It is all -consuming and lasts your whole lifetime. You do have to recognize that your time and energy are no longer all about you." I think a hard part of parenting for some people is to accept it is not all about them. People (some not all) are so concerned with their needs that the child comes second. I think to be a good parent you need to realize that you’re caring for another human being, starting from the point of being pregnant.
A children can has the power, well to ‘make you or break you’, Phy (my step grandma who plays a big role in my life) says "When your child is angry at the world, hurt by a best friend, furious with a sibling, bullying a younger sib, challenging your authority, doing something(s) that you fear could harm her (irreparably)... it is the most frightening and terrible burden imaginable." Even though I am 17 years old, and consider myself grown up my parents still find a way to worry. As a parent it becomes a natural instinct to be protective over your offspring. It seems like the times when a parent has little or no control over the outcome of their children's actions that is the scariest part. Through every stage of growing up there are new things to worry about.
So... what makes it all worth it? Phy goes on to say that there is nothing better "When your child reaches up and takes your hand, and gives you a hug, and tells you she loves you." it’s the fact of knowing that your appreciated. Knowing that you have helped someone. Knowing that you have made a difference in someone else’s life. It is Loving and being loved. It sounds all cheesy I get it. But when my brother wants me when he cries because he calls me his “best friend” well it makes me want to melt.
This goes without saying but I think a child should know that you love them. And you will always love them, but you might not always love their behavior or agree with what they are doing. My grandma says parenting goes with “Positive reinforcement; set responsibilities with consistent rewards and consequence; allowing choices where possible and appropriate.” With my sister and me she always reward good behavior and would always settle bad behavior. Either way would always end in “but I still love you.” My grandma just like my mom will tell us if we have done something right. In a case like, " I like the way you were quiet while I was on the phone." My mom though raise me sister and me with accomplishment of metal development. We would roam and do our own thing. Which yes often times got us into trouble. When I was little I was curious about the cereal boxes, I am not quiet sure what I was doing but ended up emptying the whole thing out on the floor. Her and my dad agreed it was a good way for me to experience and learn through my curiosity. The same way my mom lets my brother play with dirt. I guess to me the job of a parent is to do their best at creating a warm and safe environment, to let the child develop as best they can.
****I Apologize for it all being combined together. All this said and done with my own experiences as a sister and interviews from my grandparents and mother****
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