Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Rough Rough Rough Draft

We are never truly alone. There is not escape because its everywhere around us. Having an effect on everyone. It is always going to play a role in our lives. Digitalization holds a huge influence on us, in average takes away from our lives and is more dangerous than helpful. We are dependant, often times carrying these digital devices with us. Never leaving the house without it. in fact studies say 70% of 15-24 year-olds say they 'could not live' without their mobile phone. (Richtel ) For what? Why do we insist on having these devices? What makes them so hard to live without? Do they make us happy? But one may not realize all the negative impacts that the things we love so dearly have. So the gap continues to grow between people. Our health continues to be put at risk. The economy still suffers.

The wall is being build higher and higher between people. Time and time again. There is declining face-to-face communication. “I have a black berry, I love my blackberry” we show emotion to an object that has no feelings. Yet we talk over the phone all day or late hours in the night. One only hears a voice, but Even then their voice is buffered by the phone communication. Their voice does not sound the same as in person. One cannot see the other person. Using the computer it is possible now to see and hear another person. Odds are we have all used video chat before, or at least know what it is. So instead of a phone one might spend Hours at a time starring at a lightened screen. Call me crazy but it just isn’t the same. Looking at someone through a screen and feeling the presence of their body. There is a loss of touching and understanding between people.

Having the ability to get in touch with people with cell phone, having the ability to all the social networking makes a person very venerable. Putting personal information on myspace and facebook allows anyone see it. And once it is up chances are it can always be found online. On October 2005 a story of a 13 year old girl who put all her personal information myspace. She had put her age as 27-years old. Later an older man started talking to her. They were strangers to each other, but agreed to meet. Witch lead to him having sex with her. (A-Better-Child.org)These devices have been noted to put us in these dangerous situations. In fact a recent study by The National Crime Prevention Council found that more than 40% of teens had been victims of cyber bullying all during the past year. Digitalization creates barriers between person-to-person communications.

The English language is forever changed by digitalization. Examples shown in the way we speak and current literature. Email altered words, forming new conventions and abbreviations. Most of us have seen LOL (laugh out loud) and how about FYI (for your information). Where emotion and feeling is expressed in all CAPS. Showing that it is important, like we are saying it shouting. Lets not forget the Symbols that help us express our feelings so well, Especially in texting where those come in handy. Usually on a small screen we have to use short responses, never full sentences, inevitably the shorter the better. Due to these new conventions we speck to each other differently too. Like ayo whats good? Or mad tight. Where those words are unlined in red and do not fit the spell-check requirements, because those words do not make sense! And half the time we’re making up new words. (Richtel)

The constant use of digital devices leads people to become less physically active. We are always looking for ways to make it easier and more time efficient on ourselves. Instead of going outside to play baseball one can just pick up a wii. While it does incorporate some physical activity like the flick of a wrist, it really doesn’t require any skill. Games like that create a simulation of reality. There is no interaction with other people. The contrast between the actual world and a reflection of the world in a game are two separate different things. And most teens attach themselves to these ideas. Therefore would rather spend time inside with a remote control then playing something outside. The president of the American Council on Exercise (ACE) Germano speaks out “It's important for us to continually teach our kids to lead healthy and active lives ...so they can avoid serious health problems in the future.” (ILOST IT AT THE CLUB!)

The continuous use of digitization devices becomes addictive, to the point where we adapt to that lifestyle. Where our health is put at risk for serious downfall.

You can use the Internet to find just about everything and anything you can think of. And if it happens not to be there anyone can post add it. Most People take advance of the Internet, Using it as a way to break the law. Which does not seem like an uncommon thing. Most of us are guilty of breaking the rules of the Internet, such as downloading music. The fact of the matter is, a good amount of crime is down over the Internet. There is not much we can do about it; “The Internet is a worldwide network that stretches far beyond the grasp of the US judicial system. Technology moves so fast the slow progression of our law making process will never fully address the problem.” (Family safe computers) The Internet is a great range of space for people to do just about anything. Think about a time when you’re accidentally clicked on a wrong link. Bring you to an unfamiliar page. So as your attempt to click the x close, the window keeps coming back. And that point it’s to late, so you sit there helplessly as your computer slowly dies. Although the interne provides us with information, and entertainment it has so many hidden corners of danger. While less is being done about it, new advancements come, people take advantage of it.

As a whole we love these devices. Businesses depend on them to get thing done. It plays an important role in most businesses and organizations around the world. It provides a way to manage, store, handle, analyze, and communicate. Replacing business with these advancements leaves no jobs for skilled workers.

It is taking us over. We are losing! We are to dependant on these digital devices. We have access to the things they want without ever leaving the house. Soon we will be headed for disaster. When we realize that we cannot break free from it. It is possible to reach a point where we cannot undo what it has done. Although the solution is simple; find the balance.

5 comments:

  1. Hey Arden i really like your rough draft im liking how its coming along so far. Anyways while i was reading it, it seemed a bit choppy and such yes i know its a rough draft :P. I really like the evidence that you have supporting your arguments they really go well with what your trying to say. I think that maybe you can try to probably find more evidence in some of your arguments since i know there's more statements about what your arguing floating about in cyber space. Other than that its a really good rough draft so far. Keep it up :]

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  2. Arden- This is a good rough draft. From what I got, at the beginning it looked like your thesis was that digital representation devices keeps people connected but there is still a seperation in the experience. Then when you get into the new digital language that's where I kind of get lost because you don't really connect the rest of your arguments back to your main idea.

    I think you have great examples and you explain them pretty well but you need to clearly connect back.

    I also suggest that you take advantage of the resources that Andy's given us, you can take stuff from lectures and cite him or talk about Feed and quote from there or some of the articles and research we have done in previous assignments. This will make your arguments stronger.

    Good start Arden, and thanks for your comment :]- Sandy

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  3. Hi Arden
    i thought I would post a comment on your paper because my partners are having minor problems posting theirs.

    To start, I think this a really good rough draft. It is well written and I think you have all your ideas in a good order. One thing you may want to change is in your introduction. It might benefit the reader if you added what it was you were talking about in the first sentence. The “it” your talking about is obviously an aspect of digitalization but I wasn’t sure if you were referring to something more specific.

    Your second paragraph connects to your thesis well but where is that quote coming from. Just something small to add would be a quick sentence on where it came from.

    Your paper definitely had some well fitting evidence, which help to support your thesis.

    One piece of evidence that is really good for the argument where you talk about how language has changed is Feed. In feed people no longer write, at all. This may help strengthen your point.

    All in all this was a very good paper and I think you did an excellent job
    Evan

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  4. i posted the previous comment before i knew about the grading so im doing it now.

    pov3
    ev2
    efforg2
    conandsig2
    opv2
    com3
    total14

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  5. i think i may have misread the grading i thought it was out of 18 total points if it is than ignore this but if it was out of 24 than my grading changes
    pov4
    ev4
    eff org4
    conandsig3
    opov2
    com3
    total:20

    sorry about the mistake i made the same mistke with the other person i commented on

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